The Diary Of A Love Sick Teenager
by xxiLOVEedwardcullenxx
Summary: Dear Diary, The pain is immeasurable, what happened just can't simply be forgotten. Its like a bullet has been shot straight through my heart, it is wounded forever... Isabella Swan chooses the journey of love and heartbreak ignorantly, in this situation-few people are bulletproof.
1. Chapter 1

**Present Time…**

_May 25, 2013_

_Dear Diary, _

_The pain is immeasurable, what happened just can't simply be forgotten. Its like a bullet has been shot straight through my heart, it is wounded forever. And now I can only just hope, that things will unravel and work out. Only how can I hold on to that hope, that yearning- when I'm so afraid of my heart being shattered into pieces again?_

_Yours Truly, _

_Bella S._

The Diary Of a Love Sick Teenager

**Several Months Before…**

_September 5, 2012 _

_Dear Diary,_

_The names Isabella Marie Swan, the basically socially awkward girl with a ton of drama going on in her life. So maybe I should describe myself, chocolate, wavy, long brown hair and deep brown eyes. For the most part, skinny, but boringly average. I'm Forks, Washington's most known klutz of this small town. My age? 14. The most of my problems? High school with Tanya Denali. The bitch who has thoroughly embarrassed me last year. What did she do? She embarrassed me and told the whole middle school of my now, past crush. Of course, that was in 8th grade - hopefully the girl has gained some maturity over the summer. Then again how mature can she get when everyone could see her ass and boobs falling out of her clothing most of the time? But I guess I'm just really worried for this year.. 9th grade, which just so happens to be tomorrow. I guess the whole nervousness is what got me this diary in the first place. My mother, Renee caught me biting my nails- a habit I only do out of fear or concern. I guess I could only just hope to have a wonderful year and make as many friends as I could, which would be a major goal for me considering how shy I am. Its 10:30 pm on the dot and I have to wake up at 5:45 am, so it would probably be best to get some rest now. _

_Yours Truly,_

_Bella S._


	2. Chapter 2

_September 6, 2012_

_Dear Diary,_

_Well, the frightening day is finally over and done with. I found my way to my classes with little trouble, and know that all of my teachers don't put up immature,_

childish, crap excuses. Which is fine with me, I'm prepared to be totally focused in class and keep my head in the game. Let me start by telling you about my

eventful day…

I grab my faded , red backpack and rush out the door with Renee trailing behind me. I have the first day jitters and was anxious all last night, causing me to not

have a wink of sleep. I hurried into my mom's silver volvo and slammed the door shut behind me and checked my iphone for any new messages from my

friends. 0. I sighed and threw my phone into my backpack, annoyed. Jess promised to text me, considering that she has an older sister named Becca in the

twelfth grade- who knows Forks High School like the back of her hand. As my mom comes in, I close my eyes tightly, despite my eye liner, and realize how

exhausted I am.

"Have an excellent day Bella" My mom murmurs as she comes to the drop off. I open my eyes, grab my backpack and hoist it over my shoulder. "Ill try" I say

wryly, wrinkling my nose. I quickly get out, and stumble on my own feet, clumsy, clumsy Bella. My face quickly gets hot and my mom shakes her head, holding

in her laughter. I roll my eyes and hide a smile, and then whip my head left and right to see if anyone saw my embarrassing stunt.

I enter Forks High School, home of the Spartans and attempt to find my locker. My eyes grow wider with every step I take-3 floors, each about the size of 1 and

a half football fields. Groaning, I look at the school map and try to follow the directions on there. Someone taps my shoulder, I turn around. "Oh Hey" I say as I

realize its Eric Yorkie, former head of the chess club in Forks Middle School. "Need a chaffer, a shoulder to cry on…" He trails off going into easy conversation. I

smirk, how about none of the above?" I say. "But, can you help me find my locker?" I ask. He grabs my schedule and inspects it until he finds my locker number.

"Ah, locker 1982… right this way Ms. Swan" he jokes. Eric the major geek if you haven't noticed already, has visited this school several times for past science

awards. I guess he just memorized basic room and locker numbers for the 9th grade wings. "And here we are Bell, tell me if you need anything else," he says

winking and turns on his heel. I roll my eyes, of course he was just trying to be comedic. Thats one of the troubles I have, being friends with guys. Sure, guys

like Eric Yorkie and Mike Newton make it easy to laugh and talk with-but they aren't exactly what I call friends considering they are like that with everyone. I

guess charm just gets you through the walls of guy friendship, something I don't seem to have. I guess thats the only thing about Tanya Denali that I envy, how

she seems to attract everybody. Disappointed, I try to cheer myself up knowing that there will be plenty more guys in High School then last year in Middle School

to become friends with. I open my locker after the second try and stuff my sweater that I pulled on in a hurry today. The new chocolate brown one that goes

with my lace white tank-top and denim blue shorts and of course, my black converses. I close my locker, anticipating to already be in first period so I could stop

meandering the halls with ignorance. I check my schedule..

First Period-Algebra

Second Period-Music

Third Period-Social Studies

Fourth Period-English

Fifth Period- Earth Science

Sixth Period-Lunch

Seventh Period-Technology

Eighth Period-French 9

Ninth Period-Physical Education/Math Lab

Fantastic. Algebra , which means math in the morning. I internally groan and I look up the class number-32. I wander though out the halls until I come across a

sign that states 'Ninth Grade Wing, Rooms 20-38.' I smile gratefully and head down that way, looking at each of the rooms numbers. I walk in and see some

people from last year and some I never even met before. The teacher, an irish looking male with sea green eyes looks up from his desk and smiles with his eyes

crinkling around the corners. He looks about 52, I mentally guess in my head and smile at him-already playing nice girl so I could get decent grades despite my

quietness. I take a seat next to a girl that I noticed from last year, Jordan Walker I think. Jordan has always been a little odd, but was exceptionally pretty with

short, chocolate brown hair and matching eyes. I smile shyly, and put my backpack next to me on the floor.

By the end of the period, Jordan and I are fast friends, we chatter throughout the halls and discover that we have many classes together. "Too bad you don't

have lunch with me" I say disappointed. I still didn't have a clue of where I was going to sit in lunch, who was going to accept me into their table or make me

seem like a fool for even asking. I sigh and find music with Jordan, we both have chorus this period, and tomorrow I have marching band. Its kind of a switch off

thing to squeeze in all classes.

Chorus goes well, I make another friend that is a good friend with Jordan-Sasha Spinelli. We hit it off almost immediately, despite the fact that we never knew

each other. I learn that Sasha's intelligent, good-natured and not afraid to say whats on her mind-something that I have always admired about anyone. She has

dirty blonde, layered, long hair and light, grass, green eyes. We discover that we have quite a few classes together too.

Social Studies is all about introductions of the class, the expectations and cracks from the teacher, Mr. Ronald. I could tell that he was going to be my favorite, by

the way he gave homework (none) and by the way he acted ( a total jokester.) I saw some old friends, made some new ones. Nothing spectacular happened

during that class though.

English, my favorite subject, is after that. It just so happens that this is a class that Sasha, Jordan and I share. Thankfully, I don't have to be a loner for all my

classes. "Hey Jess" I say, raising an eye brow. "Oh sorry! I forgot to text you!" She says apologetically. "Oh its fine" I say, "So what period lunch do you have?" I

ask her anxiously. Its in two periods, and none of my friends so far are in that period. "Sixth Period" She says and asks me what period I have it. "Same" I beam,

"Can I sit with you? You don't mind right?" I ask her. "Yeah, sure it's fine" she says rolling her eyes and smiling. "Great" I say and we fall into easy banter about

our classes and the school year.

Running up the stairs, I find my next class-Earth Science. Science has always been one of my hardest subjects, and one of my most unfavored. I walk in and

notice Sebastian and Andrew talking, two hot guys that are for the most part-rebellious and bad boys. They are known to smoke weed and drink. Something I

could never try-my mother is extremely observant and my father is Chief Swan, a cop to the town of Forks, Washington. Plus, I wouldn't want to, my morals are

too high to be destroyed this easily. The old, wrinkled teacher, Mr. Diamond assigns us each permanent first semester seats. "Isabella and Andrew, Angela and

Marisa, Sally and Yvonne…" He drones on until every 20 of us are each assigned seats. I take my seat next to Andrew, his blonde hair and brown eyes inspects

me; and then goes back to talking with Sebastian who is a seat in front of us. Mr. Diamond talks about his assignments , tests, labs and how they are scored.

Before i know it, the bell rings and I grab my things and set off to the cafeteria.

The halls that are quickly crowded , quickly disperses to different wings or the cafeteria. I follow the path where the most people are heading to, which could only

mean lunch. As soon as I walk in, I'm surrounded by loud chattering ninth, tenth, eleventh and twelfth graders. I pass by individual greetings of old and new

friends, and try to find Jess's table. Thankfully, she's already seated with two other girls. I think their names are Hayley and Morgan, both pleasant girls to be

around. They each smile at me and turn their backs on me, engaged in a conversation about Mike Newton. My eyes quickly wander to my peers walking in and

anxiously speeding to tables with their friends. Mr. Ronald calls "Ninth grade girls," and Jess, Hayley, Morgan and a few other girls that just joined us ; start

walking up to the line. I trail after them, left out. When I get on line for hot lunch, I try to find any of my other friends I know. I only see a girl from my English

class, Alice Brandon I think. Alice is an obvious fashion hound, that being her clothes and her best friend Rosalie's well known shopping trips. Alice is tiny in

frame, with short , cinnamon brown hair that is carefully styled. Her friend - Rosalie is absolutely gorgeous, complete with flowing blonde hair, blue eyes and a

perfect frame that makes boys go insane. Alice notices me glancing her way, so she gives a wave and a smile. I wave back with a small smile, and my forever

present blush.

I order my lunch and settle down at the lunch table and dig into my hamburger. It's okay, definitely not fantastic though. "Hey are you Isabella?" a familiar

blonde haired, blue eyed girl asks. I nod my head, and quickly finish chewing. "And you're Stephanie right ?" I ask her curiously. She nods and plunges into a

conversation with Jessica, who seemed to have made many friends over the summer.

Hundreds of happy, well fed teens burst out of the cafeteria while chattering when the bell sounds. I pull out my schedule from my new, sleek binder and try to

memorize the subject and room number as best as I could. Technology, class 240 with Mr. Pinta. As I walk down the unfamiliar wing , peers whip past me almost

knocking me over. I just keep praying that I will have the last of my classes with some new and old friends of mine.

Technology drags on slowly, his drab and boring explanation of how the classroom works was good for one thing-putting then class to sleep. Maybe it wouldn't

have had been boring, if he had used an excited tone. Every line of speech sounded as if it was his lines he was studying for a play, but it was a continuos

monotone. A whole 45 minutes passes on of this till the bell rings signaling our second to last class-the high light of my day.

"You there, in the white shirt" yells a pissed off French teacher. **My** new pissed off French teacher. "Hello? Are you stupid?" She declares with her raven beady

eyes glaring in my direction. Confused, I look behind me and no one is there and I look up at her again. "You!" She says rolling her eyes, her patience was

running thin. Everyone was staring at me, cue the blush. " Me?" I ask confused and she sighs and nods yes. "Oh" I whisper and walk toward to where she was

pointing, a shabby wooden desk. "Lord Jesus" She says shaking her head from side to side, as if I was incompetent. Who is she to be judging who I am? I bite

my nails and avoid her eyes which just so happens to be glaring at me the whole time.

When last period rolled around, I was downright ecstatic with joy. The hustle and bustle in the halls didn't even put a damper on my good mood. Finally, school

was over for the day and with not to much homework to spare might I add. I hurried into the gigantic gym where students were asking gym teachers where

they should be. ' Ms. Irwin ' is my new gym teacher, the heavy weighted one with the graying naturally curly hair and who has been rumored to be seen at a

strip club on a late tuesday night. I notice Sasha and her rainbow colored tee shirt unsurprisingly quickly, she definitely stands out. She waved me over, excited

that we have another class together.

After getting our physical education locks to store our gym wear, Sasha and I talk in a small corner about our eventful day. "And then he actually looked at me

and smiled!" Sasha rambled on and on. It was amusing though, she was taken with a friend of hers for many years already . I roll my eyes and sigh in all the

right places, content with my reactions she pulls out her phone and creates a contact for me.

_Earlier on as I got home from school, Sasha texted me and we had a pleasant conversation for the past 2 hours. I whole heartedly think we will become great _

_friends. Besides Jordan, she's the only 'friend' I have that does acknowledge me and genuinely wants to share stories and crushes. It's 4:20 already and not a_

speck of homework has been done, guess I should get to that.

_Yours Truly,_

_Bella S._

**~ PLEASE READ THE FOLLOWING ~**

**Hello everyone! I'm back! SO! Regarding my previous stories, "Don't Hate The Player, Hate The Game" and "The Parent Trap"I feel like they**

weren't all that good. So after a while I just gave up on each of them having no inspiration. So I just might remove them unless someone else 

**would like to take over them? PM me, and I will gladly give whoever the credit they deserve while putting up their chapters. **

**Regarding this story, it might come off as a little boring right now, but Edward is gonna get here soon. Review what you think and i'll try to get**

the next chapter up as soon as possible!


	3. Chapter 3

_September 18, 2012_

_Dear Diary,_

_Inadequate, exhausted, downcast- school just didn't hold much for me at all._

_As the days slugged by, school remained in the same monotone. I haven't been able to call one single peer a true friend besides Sasha and Jordan. Back at the_

cafeteria, I thoroughly get ignored by some one I used to call friend last year. I would sit elsewhere, but every table seems to be divided into… categories. And 

_trust me- I don't want to sit down with a tight knit, oh so cool group of friends that will look at me as if I was roadkill on their sandwiches. On a positive note, I  
_

_at least like one class. On an ' A day ' I have band, I know geeky right? But I really like the feel of when my instrument touches my lips, making music is one of _

_my passions in life. _

_Yours Truly,_

_Bella S._

_October 10, 2012_

_Dear Diary,_

_The hint of a smile is starting to form on my lips these days . I've been talking to a few class mates of mine-Alice Brandon and Rosalie Hale. Being that Sasha and_

I have been getting closer as friends, we also started hanging out with them. Alice by far is one of my favorite friends of mine because of her spunk. The pixie is  


_said to have a natural fashion-passion and she thrives to always help others in terms of a 'fashion crisis.' _

_Yours Truly_

_Bella S._

_November 22 , 2012 _

_Dear Diary, _

_Happy Thanksgiving! What am I thankful for this year? My loving parents Charlie and Renee, Sasha, Alice, Rosalie, Jordan ( I guess ) and the delicious food on _

_our dining room table. _

_Yours Truly,_

_Bella S._

_December 24, 2012_

_Dear Diary,_

_Merry Christmas Eve! Wow, how the time flies by! My early Christmas presents? A deep purple comforter and a matching pillow set and a new mac laptop_

because my other one was all battered up. Sasha and I went to the mall and had a nice steaming cup of hot chocolate. Unlike most the teenagers my age, I 

_hate the snow- basically anything wet. My preference for the weather is hot and sunny all year round- which is a bummer because Forks, Washington doesn't _

_offer such thing._

_Yours Truly,_

_Bella S._

**REVIEW! Next chapter includes Edward Cullen ;)**


	4. Chapter 4

_ January 3, 2013_

_Dear Diary, _

_Happy belated New Years! My resolution? To stop being the awkward turtle I am around my peers. What I did on this specific holiday? Talk to Sasha on the_

phone while the ball dropped at midnight, unfortunately Charlie had to work because of reoccurring complaints of fireworks. Meanwhile, Renee gave me a tiny

glass cup, commonly called a "shot glass" and poured some homemade sangria in it for a "taste of adulthood." Renee could be scatterbrained, adventurous and

daring but she definitely is loving and caring towards Charlie and I. Sasha totally flipped when I told her that, being that her family always follows the rules and I

live under a roof with a cop who could smell any type of alcoholic beverage within a 50 foot radius. My opinion is that it was only a few sips and it was for a  


_special occasion, therefore was a considerate thing to do. Often I do think that Sasha could be over opinionated, yet her heart does seem to be in the right place._

I probably should end this entry here for now, being that holiday vacation ends tonight. Meaning that I am obligated to wake up bright and early next morning

for a repeat of the past days. Okay so maybe high school isn't that bad.. but I definitely think that my whole life needs some spicing up-but how? 

_Yours Truly,_

_Bella S. _

_January 5, 2013_

_Dear Diary,_

_Besides an awful ton of homework, nothing has changed school wise. Home wise, Renee quit her job and is starting fresh as an artist-only one major problem;_

she doesn't have a clue in the world of how to draw. On the other hand, she is taking classes and could now draw an apple that doesn't look like an unintentional 

_paint splatter._

_Yours Truly,_

__

Bella S.

_January 18, 2013_

_Dear Diary,_

_Something confusing yet exciting happened today while I was at school. I'll describe it all in detail…._

Pacing the floor in anticipation, I sent a quick text to Sasha asking to kindly wait for me at our locker doors. I ran my hand over the brown strap of my worn-

down muddy red backpack, I was anxious. Renee, some how forgot all about dropping me off at school-on a Thursday. A record breaking, only a mili second wait

text from Sasha appeared on my iPhone. She wanted to know exactly why I was going to be most definitely late. I sighed a bit angrily, she always said

something uncalled for about my own mothers' parenting. Okay, so maybe I ranted and raved about how 'unfair' it was that I had a curfew with my phone, and

not to mention any privacy-but she is the parent. One day, I know I will look down on these past years and laugh at my childish complaints

20 minutes later, I'm standing at the red raven brick entrance of my school and waving bye to my mother that had rushed home from a new session of yoga

class.

Math was a blur really, we were only studying the most easiest stuff from last year (and I'm absolutely terrible at math.) Since it is an A day, band was required

for today. Walking to my locker with Sasha and Jordan was just a bit awkward because they were not really talking much and it was I who supplied the

conversation. Jordan dyed her hair an un-complimenting jet black and started wearing heavy black eyeliner. Her hair was a black frizz, her makeup was a bit

uneven and her clothes were all makeshift "gothic" clothes. While Sasha didn't approve, I just kept quiet and chose to stay out of it. While I didn't think it was

my favorite look on her, she loved it so I was perfectly fine with it-except when people started bullying her for it.

Band was my favorite class as always, but there was a little variation in today's normal tone. Angela, a shy Japanese-Americanized girl with natural black hair, a

tall stature and fitting glasses became one of my few friends. Luckily, she plays the same instrument as I do.

Third period with was never a disappointment. Laughter more than usual filled the classroom throughout the period. was basically everyone's personal favorite.

Right across the hall was my fourth period class,another class that I have come to love. wasn't my all time favorite teacher, but she taught well and I'm passing

her class with flying colors.

Sasha, Jordan and I headed to our next class together-they both have lunch next. One thing I do envy about Sasha and Jordan's friendship is that they have

known each other longer and have a strong bond. But I am just the newcomer to their friendship that they have had for ages now. Hopefully, they have already

accepted me as another best friend of theirs. Although, by the looks of it they were still having some sort of a silent fight all adding up to Jordan's new style.

Fifth period was as expected, a boring monotone. But a smile escaped from my lips when I was paired up with Andrew, a cute but bad boy in my class. Inspecting

flies was more interesting than I thought, especially when his friend Sebastian came wandering to our table.

When the bell sounded, I skipped down the stairs and headed for my locker. Crouching, I took out my books for French and Tech. "Hey girl!" Sasha called to me

with Jordan hanging on her arm-I guess Sasha decided to forgive her for her rather outlandish actions. I waved at them and trudged their opposite way to lunch,

personally I hated lunch. Jessica never bothered to even glance my way anymore, as well as the other girls at the table. I usually kept my mouth shut, took out

a book and read till the ninth grader girls were announced for lunch. I gripped my binders and books tightly as I walked through the sea of boys and girls. I sat

down and took out the new book that Charlie has recently bought for my 'New Years present.' "The Hunger Games" was printed at the front in white bubbled

letters, with an odd looking golden bird pin underneath it. I dive into the distopia of a young adult named Katniss Everdeen, who struggles everyday to survive.

By the time called my grades' girls I was already deep into the second chapter. I shut the book abruptly and headed towards the rapidly forming lunch line.

In Forks High School there is only one half decent meal made every day-and that is hamburgers. My ultimate all time favorite food was a juicy, sizzling from the

red hot grill, hamburger. I dug into my food, ignoring the rest of my table and anticipating to get back to "The Hunger Games." Only, something very odd

happened. Alice towing some boy along her, was heading towards our table. Odd. We never get visitors. "Hey Alice" Jessica greeted her warmly. "Hey Jessica!"

She replied in an a perky tone. "So whats up?" Stephanie, a wildly curious girl asked. "Everyone at our table is so annoying" Alice pouted. "So Edward and I ,

here decided to come sit with you guys" Alice said with a change of tone. All smiles, she motioned for this Edward character to sit down, while she sat across

from Jess. My eyes flickered over to Edward, who was unexpectedly staring at **me. **"Hey aren't you that girl from church?" He asked, still staring directly at me.

Church. Church. An Edward? At church? Ah, I think he means.."You mean Sunday school?" I answered, getting excited. If we were correct, he was one of the

nuisances in my class when we were younger. It all came back to me, the tiny boy with the messy, bronze hair and his captivating, green eyes. He nodded at my

question, smiling. The whole table was silent at our little exchange, guess I haven't talked much at this table at all this school year. "I remember you playing

with the red ribbons in your hair" He exclaimed and laughed. Blushing, I laughed along. Renee always used to make my hair look stunning, along with a frilly

pink dress as if everyday was Valentine's day. "I never did like those ribbons" I said wincing at the memory. "They were adorable" Edward reassured me, with a

bit of blush on his cheeks, crawling up to the tips of his ears. I blushed even harder at the compliment, while everyone sighed in adoration at his comment.

When the bell rang, I grabbed my books and binders and stuffed them into my backpack roughly. Alice and Edward wandered off, while Jess and her cronies

lingered; speaking in hushed tones. Biting my lip, I faced the crowd of high schoolers with a lighter weight on my shoulders-guess my goal was starting to form.

_As for the rest of the day, nothing new really happened. Of course I told Sasha of this, and she looked at me with a hint of jealousy. Probably because I talked to _

_a boy, meanwhile she rarely does. Nevertheless, I felt bad about bragging and we decided on hanging out next Friday after school. _

_Yours Truly,_

_Bella S._

**Review? It would mean a lot!**


	5. Chapter 5

_January 20, 2013_

_Dear Diary, _

_Ever since my last entry, my usual routine has slightly altered. Apart from going to school and hanging around my best friends Jordan and Sasha, Edward Cullen  
_

_has been very friendly. I really think that we could be the best of friends. Besides Michael Newton- a boy who frequently stares at me and whom Jessica has a _

_major crush on, and Eric Yorkie-as I told you once before, the geek of the school who talks with everyone; they really weren't what I would consider a guy  
_

_friend. First of all, Mike can't even get near me without his face going up into pink flames. And second of all, Eric talks to everyone and anyone who would listen _

_to him. Meanwhile, Edward was different. He didn't take an interest in much people, only to people who I'm sure he thinks has the potential to becoming one of  
_

_his best friends. Luckily, it looks like he relates more to girls than to guys-but he isn't gay(not that there is anything wrong with that.) He mostly hangs out _

_around Alice, Rosalie, Angela, Jessica and the rest of her cronies at the table. Recently, I discovered that he is in a relationship with a Tenth grade girl named _

_Nettie Gibson. Jordan and Sasha one night at one of our infamous Friday sleepovers said I'm envious of Nettie. But I'm honestly not, Edward may be hot as fuck _

_but he isn't my cup of tea. Sure, he's friendly, cute, nice and downright hilarious-but guys like Andrew and Sebastian just draw me in. Maybe it is because they _

_are both bad boys, or they just have some kind of unique flare to them. Whatever it is, I'm surely attracted to them. _

_Yours Truly,_

_Bella S._

_January 31, 2012_

_Dear Diary,_

_Failed a test for the first time in the Ninth grade, but I swore up and down to Charlie that it was the hardest test of the year so far. Renee was more chill about _

_it, saying to do better next time and to study more often or no more sleepovers with Jordan and Sasha. I agreed wholeheartedly and kissed both my parents on _

_the cheek. _

_Lunch was far more intriguing then it usually is, the topic today with Cullen was his relationship with Nettie. I'll show you.._

"I don't understand!" Edward exhaled with a tone of deep annoyance. "What?" I asked confused at his sudden outburst. "It's Nettie" he sighed, disappointed.

"What about her?" I asked truly puzzled, he talked nothing but good things about her. "She.. She doesn't.." he trailed off, blushing wildly. Our conversation

definitely caught our half of the table's attention. Now, it isn't a big surprise to everyone that we always speak during lunch. "Doesn't what Edward?" Alice

implored, raising her perfectly sculpted eyebrow. Edward looked around at everyone and anything besides our table, blush crawling up his cheeks to the tips of his

ears. "C'mon spit it out" Jessica said rolling her eyes. "She doesn't want to kiss me" he whispered while lowering his eyes to his peanut butter sandwich. "So

thats it?" I asked him, shocked. "Well, yeah" he replied, confused at my answer. "Well thats not so bad, you guys don't have to kiss right away" I said,

attempting to lift his spirits. "Yeah we do" Edward said stubbornly. I rolled my eyes at him "your such a guy." He scoffed at this, "well apparently I'm not guy

enough for her." My eyebrows wrinkled in confusion, "what are you talking about?" "She wants me to be more.. manly" He said looking like some one had kicked

his puppy. "And how exactly does she define the term manly involving a 14 year old boy" I asked him with a bemused expression. He shrugged but I saw a hint

of a smirk etching his features.

When the bell rang, I reassured Edward that he is 'manly' enough for his age-despite the fact that he always hangs around bunches of girls.

_Yours Truly,_

_Bella S._


	6. Chapter 6

_ February 14, 2012_

_Dear Diary,_

_I am literately bursting with joy; it is the start of a school day where I have to witness couples making out near lockers and in janitor's closets- including the fact _

_I am a single pringle. Spectacular. Great. Um, how about not? _

_I've never had a boyfriend, never had a mutual crush._

_Meanwhile, supposedly Sasha has had a boyfriend at the age of 6 years old and then at the age of 9 years old. How pathetic does _**that **_make me feel! Well, at _

_least I'm not the only one without a significant other. Alice and Rosalie aren't engaged in a relationship with any boys, a big surprise for Rosalie. But heres a big  
_

_mind blower, Ms. I-Had-A-Boyfriend-At-6-And-9-Years-Old is single as well. She's told me about both of them though, boastingly proud of her past histories as a _

_child. So, I'll never in a millions of years admit to this..but I felt a twinge of jealousy to her 'first boyfriend.' Apparently, Edward Cullen was the lucky guy. _

_Unfortunately, it was Sasha who stopped crushing on him before he did. And according to Sasha, his player past begins after that._

_Moving on, Jordan doesn't have a boyfriend either. Over the months, despite her love for labels as terms such as 'emo,' 'goth' and 'scene,' we have become_

closer as friends. Possibly, more closer then Sasha and I. Maybe it's because of her ostentatious attitude, or maybe how she constantly corrects everyone and 

_anyone who does wrong. So yes, I'm a teeny bit aggravated by the way she chooses to act lately-but I have to admit that she still is a very good friend. I'll just _

_put my frustration in a more understanding form. She's not the wealthiest person in the town of Forks, not the prettiest, and not the most well known around _

_here. So I feel a bit bad, not as if I am rich, pretty or well known. But I look at it in a different way, while she finds everything possibly wrong with herself-I find _

_the parts that I like about myself (mostly including my personality.) _

_And then there's one more single friend of mine, that came as a big surprise since it is Valentine's Day. Edward Cullen. Recently, he broke up with Nettie-he said _

_she was to needy. Typical cheerleader. I do wonder who is next 'love' is, or should I say victim. Every single girl that he has dated after Sasha, has been heart  
_

_broken after a few months of dating him. And I think that this goes without saying that the saying "Don't hate the player, hate the game" suits him well. Only,  
_

_there is one difference that separates him from most players. He's kind, sweet and a bit odd but in a hilarious way. He occasionally gives chocolate chip cookies to _

_everyone, but I'm sure since he is the only one who mostly talks to me in the cafeteria-he gives me a full cookie and everyone else a half. He also teases me in a  
_

_friendly way about my quietness. Nevertheless, he's basically a positive and fun person to hang out around. _

_Crap, school is beginning in exactly 10 minutes and if I'm tardy again I earn myself a detention._

_Yours Truly,_

_Bella S._

_ Later on _

_Dear Diary,_

_Well, my predictions as to how this day will play out was scarily accurate. Walking through the halls, teachers were noticeably becoming more and more annoyed _

_at everyone's behavior. Left and right in between periods, were teens locking lips by their lockers. Long time mutual crushes turned into intimate relationships as _

_the day progressed. Cheap, plastic jewelry were passed from male to female lovers while they gasped in fake delight. Lets be honest, no girl wants some crappy, _

_99 cents ring from a vending machine of a local store. Some 12th grade couples skipped class or got caught half naked in a janitor's closets and sent straight to _

_the principal's office. A hint of disgust crossed Jordan's, Sasha's and my expression as we walked through horny teens and stargazed lovers who stared at each  
_

_other with dopy eyes. Through the first five periods, my bad day kept on getting worse with every "I love you" thrown around the room. I guess I was just_

annoyed, be serious everyone-we are teenagers; we can't be 'in love' thats just called lust. What sickened me the most was when 'popular' sluts like Tanya

Denali who had a new boyfriend every week sat on Sebastian's lap the whole period of science. , who even with glasses is as blind as a bat, didn't have any  


_knowledge of this occurring-he was clueless. _

_Pacing down the halls, waiting for Jordan and Sasha I remembered that I forgot my check yet again for lunch. Which made me want to slam a fist into a locker  
_

_door because I was starving, and no check meant no lunch for Bella Swan. Well, let me tell you what happened next_

"Argh!" I said in frustration, what could possibly make this day worse! "Woah dude, whats your problem?" Sasha's voice appeared at the right side of my

shoulder. "No lunch for Bella today" I growled angrily. No food plus an already bad mood of today's events made me realize how much of a bitch I could be. Woah

Bella. Bitch? Never internally thought that word before. As I mentally scolded myself, Sasha and Jordan looked at me with smiles etched on their faces. Jordan

giggled, something of a rare occurrence for her. "Shut up" I say , a smirk bubbling to the surface of my lips.

We walk in unison to the hall that leads to the cafeteria and we all go our separate ways. "Are you sure you don't want me to come with you to the office,

Jordan?" I ask her hesitantly as we get nearer and nearer to the wing that leads to the cafeteria. "No I'm good" She smiles and then thanks me in appreciation.

As we all part I enter the lunch room alone, like always and search for my table.

Further into lunch, Edward notices that I didn't get any food. "Aren't you going to eat?" He asks me curiously. I smile and shake my head no " I left my check at

home" I say quietly to him. "Oh well I could buy you cookies if you would like?" He says with a polite smile on his face. I shake my head frantically "No, no I

don't want you to waste your money on me." He looks taken a back at my answer, "but I want to" he says with a puzzled look all over his face. I sigh, "okay but

just one" I warn him as he rises to go to the snack bar. He smirks at that. "Sure," he replies with a wink.

Around 2 minutes later he comes back with 3 melted and deliciously gooey chocolate chip cookies in his hand. "Two of those better be for you" I say eyeing him

suspiciously. He shakes his head 'no' with amusement and pushes them to me.

"Ugh fine, but I owe you" I say annoyed, as I bite into a mouthing watering cookie.

_So lunch was interesting, especially because everyone at that table was teasing us, and urging us to 'go out.' Alice mainly took part in this whole idea and was  
_

_looking at Edward with an odd, knowing expression the whole time. _

_I do wonder how it would be like to have a boyfriend. How it feels like to really like someone, how it feels like for the opposite sex to care about you in a mutual _

_way. How its like to kiss someone, to hug someone you have had a crush on. When I look at other High School couples a thought flashes through my mind-I _

_want a boyfriend too. _

_Yours Truly, _

_Bella S._


End file.
